Have you ever been watching a movie and a scene pops up on the screen of someone sleeping, or laying in bed, and you just think to yourself how badly you wish that's what you were doing at that moment?
That is how I feel on a daily basis.
I mean constantly.
All day.
I could have just woken up from a 2 year long coma, and I would still be ready to go back to bed. If you actually asked yourself, "Why is she so exhausted?" I'm going to assume you are about 12 years old, your parents still make your lunch for school every day, and you still have a scheduled bed time.
I'm so tired because adulthood is bullshit.
You have to deal with so much responsibility between finishing college, finding a "real" job, dating, finding a place to live that is cheap enough, but not so cheap that you end up accidentally renting an apartment in a crack den, and being adult enough to stop asking your parents to schedule your appointments for you. You have to work in order to have money for food, clothes, and rent. You're only an entry level employee though, so after you pay your rent, you have just enough money for a 20 year old shirt from the thrift store, and a case of Ramen noodles. You wish very much that these weren't your concerns in life, because you want to travel the world and meet amazing people, but you aren't immune to the disease that is your 20s. Even if you could afford it right now, you would be too tired (and possibly jet-lagged) to do it.
Trying to be a productive member of society is tiring.
Paying bills on time is tiring.
Saving money is tiring.
Pretending you like being around the people with whom you work is tiring.
Pretending like you don't actually need the job that you hate more than anything, is tiring.
Making a list of all the things you need to do when you aren't at work is tiring.
Marking off anything on that to-do list is tiring.
Being in public is tiring.
College me will hate me for saying this, but nowadays, drinking is tiring.
Pretending you know what you are actually doing in the weight section at the gym is tiring.
Having to actually go to the gym, is tiring.
Plopping yourself on the couch and wondering what it would be like if you were a completely different person that doesn't have to do any of the aforementioned things, is tiring.
Writing this to you right now, is tiring.
Everything you do as an adult is draining. Maybe it isn't for everyone. Maybe there are people out there who actually get a sense of fulfillment out of their lives and jobs. Maybe I am just a miserable person with no direction in life. All of which are strong possibilities, but I can guarantee you, that while reading this you became tired due to the mere thought of a responsibility you have and are currently ignoring.
Surprisingly, the overwhelming feeling I am currently having is joy, because I just got a text message from my sister that proved my point perfectly. Serendipity at its finest. "I overslept for work by 6 hours. Idk what to do. Wtf. I slept for like 18 hours." Not 30 minutes. Not 45 minutes, but SIX. HOURS. If this doesn't perfectly show you what it's like being an adult, then I don't know what will.
The amount of times in my life that I have been late to work due to oversleeping, are too numerous to count. I always set my alarm with plenty of time to get up and get ready, but it never works. My snooze button gets more action than the Bunny Ranch. I sincerely cannot remember a day that I actually got up to my alarm. Honestly, I have two excuses that I use. The first of which is, "Sorry, I overslept." The second, "Sorry, I really didn't want to come in today." Oddly, I never get in trouble for either of these, and I'm not actually sorry. That would mean that I actually care about my job, and I really don't. Not that it would make any difference, I would still be late. It's just who I am. Accept it, people.
My parents wake up at the same time every day, without fail, with no alarm clock in sight. I don't understand this. I have never understood this. When I was in college, I remember my mom telling me that she's used to it. She's had to wake up at the same time every day for 30 years, so her body just naturally gets up, and that I would get to that point one day. I wanted to barf. That is disgusting to me. No one gets to tell me when to wake up, Becca wakes up for no one. Sometimes, not even for Becca.
I think it was in that moment that I knew I would become adult-sized, but never adult-minded.
Rebecca's Adulthood Survival Tip #5: Sleep as often as you can. Seriously, all that shit that you have to do is still going to be there tomorrow. So, take that god damn nap you have been thinking about all day.
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