Hello there.
My name is Becca.
Ever since I graduated from college I have been somewhat lost. For years I honestly felt sorry for myself. I was constantly comparing my life to those around me, more specifically those whom I didn't personally know. Mostly, the "Kardashian, famous for no reason" types. Is it stupid? Of course it is! It doesn't change the fact that it's still an easy thing to which one can fall victim. Also, anyone who says they have never done it, is a fucking liar. It's really hard to see success come so easily to someone, whilst you are floundering in some meaningless office temp job and not get jealous.
I felt defeated; every single day. I thought that each and every choice I made during my early adult years, was wrong. I even started believing that college was a waste of time. For the record, college was the best decision I ever made for myself. It was expensive as shit, but I honestly wouldn't trade one second of it. Except maybe that night we all blacked out on Four Loko's during the middle of a Western New York winter.
My attitude towards life changed when one of my old friends from high school, with whom I'd had minimal contact since, messaged me on Facebook with two words, "thank you." Since I had not spoken to them in nearly 5 years I was quite confused. When I asked them why they were thanking me, they responded with this: "I have felt so alone since college ended, that I was making all the wrong decisions, and that it was just a huge mistake. Seeing your posts every day about how lost you are, made me happy, because it made me realize that I'm not alone. So, thank you."
I cleaned up the grammar and punctuation a bit, because I am not an animal, but you get their point.
It was in that moment, that I knew we were all fucked. There is an entire generation of people that have no fucking clue how to grow up, and I am one of them! Hell, I might even be their Queen. We are all cursed with Peter Pan syndrome because we are so scared to fail. If you asked any of us what we are scared of failing, we wouldn't know. We just know we are all terrified as hell of it happening.
Based on my title, I'm sure you have worked out that I am a mess of a person, of whom my parents are quite proud. I am currently drinking juice out of a red solo cup that I have been reusing for over a week while writing these words to you. If that gives you any insight as to how I operate. Am I happy? Oh yes, quite, but I am still, for lack of a better term, a mess.
I am a 20-something female who is more prepared for the Apocalypse than she is a job interview, because priorities people! I have spent much of my life with my, as suburban parents would say, "head in the clouds." (My parents never said this, its just a parental thing to say. I just want that to be clear.) So the hell what. The world needs dreamers. The world needs kindness. The world needs less judgment.
While I am still working on the "kindness towards everyone," and the "not judging" thing, I will forever be a dreamer. Have been since the day I was born, and I don't plan on changing. I am phenomenal at being completely inappropriate at the wrong times, and for never knowing how to properly react in every day situations. Some would say I have a flair for the dramatics, I strongly disagree with this statement, but it is popular opinion amongst those closest to me. I have accepted my "faults" and I have made it my lot in life to help others accept theirs. Even if it is at my own expense. I will look as stupid as I have to in order for someone else to find that light inside of themselves.
Do I know what I'm doing? Absolutely not. Not even the slightest idea really, but that's half the fun isn't it?
I'm here to be a life boat to those who think they are drowning in their attempts at adulthood. So, to the people who have no idea what adulthood entails, I write to you. To the ones who enjoy shitty clichés, I write to you. To the ones constantly bothered by numerous family members during the holidays about their career and love life, I write to you. To the ones terrified of applying for a job across the country, I write to you. Every choice you have made so far has been the right one, stop doubting yourself. Adulthood is shit, and we are all just trying to survive. Let's do it together, shall we?
